


and why mess up a good thing, baby?

by eversall



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, M/M, Oblivious Pack, Stiles Stilinski Has Sex, basically ignored all the sad parts of teen wolf, hahaha thats a tag, stiles has sex and he wants you to know it, that's also a tag??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 15:05:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6961921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eversall/pseuds/eversall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“To clarify,” Isaac asks, “dating as in a romantic relationship?” There’s a pause on the other end of the phone.<br/>“To clarify further,” Stiles says with a decidedly delighted uptick in his voice that has Derek groaning, “dating as in love and sex. Multiple times. As in I am getting laid regularly. By Derek.”<br/>.<br/>The pack doesn't realize Stiles and Derek have been dating for a long time now. Stiles is excited because this is an excuse for him to talk about sex. Specifically, how much sex he gets to have. With Derek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and why mess up a good thing, baby?

**Author's Note:**

> don't even ask do you know how many unfinished fics I have that are so close to wrapping up??? and I chose to finish this one over all my well-thought out other ones. the fanfiction muses are probably hitting themselves with their harps right now.
> 
> title taken from sleeping with a friend by neon trees.

The first time it happens, Derek doesn’t suspect anything, though in retrospect he should have known something was up. In retrospect, _Stiles_ should have known something was up, really, he’s the one with a degree in _Criminology_. Ugh. Derek is dating a do-gooder Deputy. It’s disgusting.

“You’re hilarious,” Stiles says every time this subject is brought up, “because you’re the one that’s a fucking _librarian_ and you read to children every Saturday and impart the _true wisdom_ of being yourself to conflicted tweens standing in the young adults section-“ Derek throws chips at him when Stiles does this little monologue thing. So far he’s gotten to twenty-seven chips before Stiles shuts up.

But yeah, in retrospect, they both ought to have known from the very start. Derek sends out a mass text about a pack dinner on Sunday night at the new Asian fusion place on the edge of town. It’s very posh and caters to the young twenty-something crowd. Derek figures his pack of young twenty-somethings will fit right in and he can be the long suffering chaperone at the table.

Scott throws himself down the stairs and just _wails_ “Not _Sunday night!_ ” like Sunday night has personally attacked him. Derek just gives him a look as Scott ricochets off the wall and comes to a standstill in front of him.

“I have to…” Scott says, trailing off. Derek arches an eyebrow and waits. “Ihavetogoringshopping!” Scott blurts out in a rush. Derek can feel his eyebrow climbing higher up his forehead. He’s just glad that despite Scott’s abysmal luck, Kira isn’t around for this.

“ _Really_?” he asks, and to his utter surprise, Isaac bounds in after Scott and slaps the back of his head.

“You _complete_ dumbass.” Isaac says, sounding legitimately annoyed. “Seriously? Ring shopping? You didn’t have anything else you could have done on a Sunday night?”

“Well it’s true.” Scott whines, and fixes Derek with a firm look. “I’m going ring shopping Sunday night, and Isaac is coming to help. Don’t tell Kira. Sorry we can’t make it.” Scott looks as regretful about this as Erica looks when she beats them in Mario Kart.

“You’re not taking Stiles?” Derek questions, genuinely worried that Scott isn’t taking his best friend.

“Please,” Scott scoffs, “as if Stiles could keep a secret to save his life.” Derek laughs a little at that, because _if only they knew_. He and Stiles have been keeping this a secret for over a year now, and it just gets more amusing with every passing day. The extent to which the pack will put down their behavior as ‘friendly’ is frankly _alarming_.

“Sure, fine, go. Congratulations.” He says, smiling at Scott. Scott and Isaac smile back automatically, if a little uncomfortably, because Stiles has been conditioning them to think that when Derek smiles it’s because inside he’s reviewing the ways to painfully end them. Derek grits his teeth and thinks _that man is going to be the end of me_.

(When he tells Stiles about Kira and Scott, later that night as they lie together in bed, Stiles makes a thoughtful noise. “I know he wants to marry her – but I thought he was waiting until Kira finished that certification to propose -  oh well, I guess – “ Derek shuts him up by making out with him like they’re teenagers on prom night and not grown, adult men.)

Lydia texts him next, claiming that she’s taking Kira to her house to make sure she doesn’t see Scott and what he’s doing. Derek thinks that going to the restaurant could probably do the same thing, with the added benefit of free food, but arguing with Lydia proves a futile exercise, and he hangs up with a sigh.

“Oh babe.” Stiles sighs, patting the scruff on Derek’s face, “It’s okay. You tried.” He’s clearly holding back laughter and Derek pouts, just a little. They’re in Stiles’ apartment, making lasagna for dinner. Cooking is their version of foreplay, and it’s a little weird but Derek can’t bring himself to care because oh _god_ , Stiles chopping vegetables? Derek wants to drop to his knees right there. Stiles stirring the sauce, laughing gently? Derek wants Stiles to bend him over the damn counter and fuck him. He’s pretty sure it works both ways, because when Derek reaches for the lasagna pasta or grates the cheese, Stiles’ heartbeat spikes and his scent cloys with the cinnamon sweet smell of his arousal.

“I don’t want to talk about Lydia now.” Derek grumps. “This is ridiculous, I couldn’t even win an argument against Katie today, and she’s _six_.”

“In her defense,” Stiles says, pressing his chest to Derek’s back and slotting them neatly together, “she is a formidable, well-read, well-educated six year old. Someone’s been pushing her for the last year.” He says, whispering the last few words against the shell of Derek’s ear. Derek shivers lightly, and then curses worse than a sailor when his phone shrilly yells some obnoxious pop song at him, courtesy of Erica.

“What?” he answers her call grumpily as Stiles laughs his ass off in the background and goes to finish cooking. He leers at Stiles as the younger man shimmies his hips for dramatic flair – yeah, they’re totally having hot kitchen sex after this.

“Boyd and I are having date night on Sunday. Deal with it.” Erica says, and Derek can just imagine the way she’s probably casually inspecting her nails while she delivers this in a tone that seems to argue _I’m going to castrate you if you don’t agree_ more than _I’m a sweet girl going on a date with my significant other_.

“Fine.” Derek replies churlishly. “I’m dealing with it.”

“Okay.” Erica chirps, cheerfully. “See, Boyd, I told you he’d take it like a big boy.” Somewhere in the background he can hear Boyd’s tiny snort. “Is Stiles with you?” Stiles rolls his eyes, because they’re _werewolves_. There’s no need to ask that question.

“No.” Derek says. “I know lots of people and there’s someone else here who’s humming the Batman tune.”

“I am _not_.” Stiles lies, outrageously, and Erica laughs as she hangs up abruptly on them.

“You’re a freak.” Derek says fondly as Stiles scowls mutinously and begins his steady hum again.

“So are you, sourwolf.” Stiles shoots back, equally as fond.

The next person to drop out is Cora, who invites herself to Lydia and Kira’s girls night in –

“I thought the point of a girls night in was to _not_ have significant others around?”

“Der-bear, Lydia couldn’t keep me away if she tried.”

-and then it’s down to just Stiles, Derek, Jackson, and Danny, and Derek is ready to give up on pack dinner because just the four of them? Not horrible, but still slightly awkward.

“No.” Jackson says when Derek brings it up as the younger boy’s lounging across _Derek’s_ sofa with Danny’s head in his lap, carding his fingers through Danny’s hair. “I’m coming to pack dinner and you can’t stop me. Danny?”

“Sure.” Danny agrees reasonably, but Derek isn’t fooled because Danny and Jackson have been dating for a while now and they all know that Danny sort of blindly agrees to most of what Jackson suggests. It’s a blind spot as big as _Texas_.

“Stop pandering to him.” Derek instructs, and Danny frowns sadly at Derek, so he hurriedly adds, “But if you both still want pack dinner, than yeah, we’ll have pack dinner.”

So Sunday night rolls around, and Derek spends an hour getting dressed because Stiles appears at his apartment and helpfully undresses him every time he manages to get clothes on. It’s very distracting. They get to the restaurant on time, and sit close to each other on one end of the four-person table, talking aimlessly as they wait for the other two.

“The thing is, you can combine _anything_ with tacos,” Stiles is saying, preparing himself to give what is no doubt a very long, very thorough history on fusion cooking.

“Out of curiosity,” Derek interrupts, “how many cups of coffee were involved when you suddenly researched this?”

“Many.” Stiles responds sagely before launching into something about food trucks. Derek’s phone buzzes, and he frowns as he reads Danny’s apologetic text that they won’t be able to make it.

“Danny and Jackson aren’t coming.” Derek says, and Stiles pouts.

“No double-date?” he asks, and Derek laughs.

“Nobody even _gets_ that we’re dating.” He says. “Come on; let’s move to a more…private table.”

“Ooooh.” Stile says, waggling his eyebrows. “Blowjob during dessert? Footsie under the table? Lots of staring at each other eating sexily?”

“Absolutely not, yes, and no because I’m actually _hungry_ , Stiles.”

“You’re no fun.” Stiles declares, but he still slides over and loops an arm around Derek’s waist in their new booth, and Derek sinks into the delicious heat of Stile’s body next to him.

So they have a lovely date at the restaurant, which definitely ends in a blowjob during dessert (in the restroom) where they are almost caught but are saved at the last minute thanks to Stile’s magic.

Really, neither of them thinks anything is suspicious because yes, at the end of the day they’re young and in love and Derek’s not ashamed to admit that when it comes to Stiles, he doesn’t always think clearly.

But when he walks into his house Monday evening to find all his betas waiting for him with grave looks on his face, he immediately panics.

“Stop, no, everything’s fine, everything’s fine!” Isaac babbles as Derek growls and lets his eyes flash. His heart doesn’t stutter, though, so Derek relaxes minutely.

“I regret giving you keys.” He tells Isaac, who grins smugly at him. “Alright, why are you all here?”

“Sit down, Derek.” Cora says gravely. “This is an intervention.”

“I’m not giving up my leather jacket.” He says defensively, clutching it closer. “People like it.” _Stiles_ likes it.

“Not that.” Lydia rolls her eyes, her tone indicating she’d rather be _anywhere_ other than here. “It’s about you and Stiles.”

“Oh.” Derek says. “What about me and Stiles?” This conversation is going nowhere that makes sense, Derek thinks.  

“We know you like Stiles, Derek.” Scott says gently. Derek stares at him, waiting, and when it becomes clear that Scott isn’t going to say anything else, Derek prompts “And?”

“No like – like you want to date him.” Scott continues. “Not just as a friend.”

“Yes.” Derek says agreeably. “That’s true.”

“Oh – you’re not – okay, you agree. Well, Stiles likes you too, and you need to do something about it, the sexual tension is getting, frankly, disgusting-“ Scott says, and Derek scowls because he really doesn’t think Scott should be the one griping about disgusting sexual tension.

“Yeah,” Kira chimes in, “so that’s why we let you two go to dinner Sunday by yourselves. Didn’t it – help you see something?” Derek is staring at all of them in horror.

“Stiles and I – “ he begins, confused, before trying again, “We’re – that is – oh my god.” He mutters before he pulls out his phone and dials Stiles quickly. The betas are all looking at each other, making faces that suggest they think Derek’s gone crazy.

“Hey Stiles.” Derek says when he picks up. “You’re on speakerphone with the pack.”

“Yo, Derek!” Stiles crows. “Hi, pack. Did I forget about a meeting or something?”

“No.” Derek clears his throat. “It’s an intervention. They want me to date you.” Stiles is silent for a while before he bursts out laughing.

“ _Stiles_.” Scott reprimands, but Stiles continues cackling.

“You idiots.” He says over the phone. “Derek and I _are_ dating.” There’s silence all around as Derek watches this new bit of information sink in.

“To clarify,” Isaac asks, “dating as in a romantic relationship?” There’s a pause on the other end of the phone.

“To clarify further,” Stiles says with a decidedly delighted uptick in his voice that has Derek groaning, “dating as in love and sex. Multiple times. As in I am getting laid regularly. By Derek.”

“No.” Jackson says, looking affronted. “You’re both lying. We would have smelled it.” Derek raises his eyebrows.

“Can you smell when anyone else in the pack’s been having sex?” he asks pointedly. “You’re a bitten wolf, not born, your senses would have to be much stronger for that. Though,” he says, frowning, “I don’t understand how you didn’t smell the arousal coming off Stiles around me.”

“Trust me, we smelled that.” Scott says, looking nauseous. “We also smelled _your_ arousal, that’s why we wanted you to do something about that – wait, but you’ve never even kissed!”

“Maybe not in front of you.” Stiles says from over the phone. “Derek’s not really into PDA. But on movie nights I literally _sit_ on his lap. How can you not – _how_.”  

“We though both of you were really deep in denial!” Scott wails.

“This is so embarrassing.” Isaac sighs quietly.

“You think?” Derek says, flushing crimson. “My _sex life_ is not a topic for pack intervention.”

“Me, personally, I like this intervention,” Stiles begins, “because it gives me a chance to stress how much sex-“ Derek ends the call, his face burning. The door rings and he hears Stiles’ heartbeat behind it.

“It’s a good thing I was heading over here.” Stiles crows excitedly when Lydia opens the door. “Hey babe.” Despite himself, Derek smiles as Stiles walks over. Stiles is clearly ecstatic, both with the hilarity of the situation and to finally have everything out in the open. Derek can’t exactly deny him that.

Stiles steps right into Derek’s personal space and slots their bodies together neatly. Derek lets him, automatically curling one arm around Stiles’ neck and one around his waist.

“This is-“ Stiles murmurs as he leans in, a questioning look on his face.

“-okay.” Derek finishes as he closes the distance between them and kisses Stiles. In the background, he can hear Scott retching and Jackson grumbling about going home. The door slams, and he’s pretty sure Lydia left, but he can’t focus on that right now – right now, all he feels is the smooth press of Stiles’ lips against his own, the way Stiles’ hand is fisted in his hair, the smell of his cologne.

Derek reluctantly breaks the kiss, looking to the members of the pack that are still there.

“Sorry, man.” Scott says to Stiles, looking guilty, but Stiles waves him off.

“To be fair, Scotty, we never sat down and told you guys. I didn’t expect you to know, I just thought you would suspect something. It’s okay that you didn’t.” Stiles smiles, and Scott grins back.

“As long as you’re happy.” Scott says, then glares at Derek. “You. Me. Shovel-talk, soon.” He grumps out before he leaves. Kira follows him, waving cheerfully, and the rest of the pack files out after them.

“Ooooh, Scott’s shovel-talk, are you scared?” Stiles teases him as he pushes Derek towards the bedroom.

“So scared.” Derek says drily as he falls back on the bed. “Are we really having sex right now, after that intervention?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t want it.” Stiles laughs as he shimmies out of his shirt. “Do you?” He pauses, looking at Derek expectantly. Derek knows he can say no, that in the beginning of their relationship they went glacially slow because Derek kept freaking out. After Kate – it’s just that he’s never really had a healthy relationship. But Stiles is understanding and caring and just wants Derek, no strings attached.

“I do want it.” Derek says, ducking his head down, because yeah, he does. He trusts Stiles with everything, his pack, his life, his heart.

Werewolves don’t mate for life or any of that bullshit Stiles reads on the internet, but Derek already knows that this is it.

“Good.” Stiles says, satisfied, as he comes to straddle Derek’s lap. “Because the pack kept talking about sex and now I want it.”

“You’re insatiable.” Derek mutters fondly, ducking down to press kisses along the hollow of Stiles’ throat.

“Mmmm.” Stiles moans lazily, arching his neck. “You can call it our first time if you want, since, y’know, we just got declared a couple by the pack.”

“Please.” Derek says. “I know you’re keeping count somewhere.”

“I’m not telling you how many times we’ve had sex. That’s uncouth.” Stiles says, laughing, as he tugs at Derek’s shirt. “Off, off, c’mon.”

They tumble down into bed, laughing and cracking jokes the whole way. Some days they fuck, rough and wild, with the bed shaking from the force of their thrusts. Some days they whisper ridiculous sentiments as they go slow, dragging it out into long, torturous hours. And sometimes, they do it like this – snarking at each other, bitten off moans and laughs, easier than anything Derek’s ever done before.

“I love you.” He murmurs to Stiles as Stiles drops off into a blissful post-orgasm haze. Stiles opens his eyes at that, bright and happy.

“Love you too.” He says back, nosing at Derek until Derek pulls him in for one lingering kiss as he flips the light off. They fall asleep like that, their bodies tangled so closely together there’s no end or beginning, with Stiles holding Derek’s heart safely in his hands.

 

**Author's Note:**

> look I can't write sex okay so I didn't really try
> 
> EDIT: now you can find me on [ tumblr!!! ](http://eversall.tumblr.com/) i know, you're SO excited *sarcasm*


End file.
